He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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