I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
A bitchslap is in order.
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