So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
