Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
