i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I only lived at night.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
