I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
