How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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