I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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