The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
