It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
