I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
