How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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