My brain says no but my pants say off.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
