toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
