If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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