Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
