honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
