people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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