Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
