the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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