Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
