I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
