I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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