my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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