Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
