This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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