I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
