I cockslap morals
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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