Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
