You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
