I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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