IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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