...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
