none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My ATM looks so different sober.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
