the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
