he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
