the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You are the jesus of drinking
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
