of course. lets lasso hookers.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
