You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
