Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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