I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
