I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
FUCK WHALES
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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