I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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