You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How does one acquire holy water?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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