I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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