when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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