no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
that is very illegal...i love you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
