just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
