Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My pussy is not your playground.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
