I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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