i may or may not be watching the land before time
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
