She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
